Suddenly…. I saw how her face … was changed.
She could not believe they were asking something like that.
She cared a lot about her look and … her nails.
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Not to destroy this opportunity for such a good job …. I
answer for her that it will be … no problem … even if i knew it will be.
I knew my friend …. pretty well.
She was alone at the moment, single mother … by long, long time … and no body was helping her.
Had a little bit of savings … but finding a job immediately … was really important.
I knew it … and she knew it too.
On the way back home …. I dare to ask … “What will you
do?!
Please lie to me … and say that you will cut your nails … so that you can start the job tomorrow.” She did not answer anything.
I could not believe it.
Not even in this difficult situation of her life … she could not make a compromise…. cut her nails … and start the job at the restaurant.
I started to be … annoyed… realizing how stupid i could be to waste my time … helping her.
I even fucked my vibe … very bad.
But in a moment of clarity … i say to myself … “Why the hell i do that?!
Why i don’t respect her right to act stupid on the stage of life?!
Why don’t i … just smile … and let her live on Mars?!”
I smiled … and forgot my friend … for fucking my vibe … being so damn silly.
I had to stop myself of judging people.
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Had to respect their right to do … anything.
And maybe … stop being … naive.
Everyone has the right to do … whatever wants to do … no matter if i like that or not.
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Truth be told many times we just waste our lives … even if we know what we really have to do for changing everything into better …
I had many times in mind the idea of changing my life …. and
i had so, so many scripts i was thinking about.
I’ve read tens of books about … change … but in the end … even if i made so many plans … i’ve done nothing to really implement any new idea into my daily activities.
The change itself … or maybe i should say …. the idea of
change … had just the value of a theoretical concept.
I was analyzing all … defining on and on and on …. the fact
that i don’t like my life … my reality and nothing around myself.
I was in fact living a life … which i disliked … dreaming of parallel lives … seeing myself following totally different paths than today.
But … unfortunately …. all happened just … into my mind.
I was balancing between my inner and my outside world … but i was simple wasting my time … not daring to take any decision.
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I was afraid of disconnecting from the actual reality … and start that life from the scenarios from my mind. It was all a nonsense.
… a total nonsense.
I was wasting my life …. living with the fear of not losing a
reality which in fact … i was hating …. not realizing that I
actually don’t allow myself to enter into those parallel realities from my mind.
I could simple decide to … try other paths too.
But truth be told … the fear dominated myself.
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Being alone is not
.. a handicap
In the real world … it happens i know lots of psychologists … and i sometimes go out with them to drink a coffee and exchange ideas.
Most of these guys i could define as … too technicals … but in the last few years i’ve started to see them more open minded with what before they defined as … nonsense ideas about energies beyond reality.
Leo … for example … is today a prestigious psychologist… and i even find it funny that he bothers to exchange ideas with me.
cause truth be told …. I am not a spiritual guru, not a philosopher … and maybe not even a thinker … but just a guy that explores the nonsense of being here … into this universe.
But me and Leo … talk about lots of things … and especially his recent cases.
For example …. not so long time ago … a wealthy guy came to him … somehow complaining because he was not understanding why he loves to stay more and more time alone.
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He was divorced … and was dating with lots of ladies … but even if any man from this plannet would envy him for this luck of being surrounded by such a large spectrum of feminine souls … Jim always felt he is not in the right place … or the right company.
He started to walk alone more and more on streets or in parks …. and what he defined as a little bit illogical was that he felt … amazing into his own company.
Finding it weird … he goes to a psychologist.
My friend smiled to him … because he loved dating with ladies too … and on the other hand … loved a lot … the solitude.
So the question was … is the solitude a handicap?!
Is it weird to love and practice it?!
Why … even in front of the opportunity of having so many beautiful souls around us … we love … just staying alone?! Do we need a psychologist for that?! Or is actually something … normal?!
Well … today i should define … solitude as the pleasure of staying in our own energies.
staying and enjoying the inner world … realizing it’s a nonsense to waste our time into the outside world.
A spiritual guru … would probably define all these … as the gateway that helps us connect to the Infinity.
Saying it’s weird to love staying alone … or even name it a … handicap … it’s probably a nonsense.
But what was much more interesting is that my friend Leo …. tells me more and more about people as …. Jim.
People come to him … just to receive a confirmation that loving solitude it’s not something bad … even if it looks …
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weird.
It was also a nice confirmation for myself … cause i’ve started to like more and more just to stay in my own energy.
And indeed … it was … amazing.
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Staying away from people
a hobby?!
or more than that?!
I recently had the chance to meet Sasha again, while i was walking on the streets … close to the city center.
I already know her by few years … and even if we were never close friends … i’ve always admired her. … but just in secret.
She is now 27 … finished 2 universities … and looks like she has the whole life in front of her.
I dared to invite her to a coffee … this time … and she said … yes.
We’ve started to chat and became amazed of her idea for the future.
She just got back from an interview at a hotel for pets … when she wanted to have a long term job for taking care of the animals from there.
I could not believe … what i was hearing.
Smiling … i’ve asked … “You wanna tell me that after being graduated from 2 prestigious universities you want to have a job … cleaning the rooms of the animals from this hotel?! Is this a joke?!
Did you lost your mind?!
What the hell is wrong with you?!
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You could have an amazing job …. anywhere in this country.
You just need to go for an interview at the big corporations that have available jobs.
… something that could be much suitable for you.”
But Sasha …. even if not agreed with my ideas … smiled and
replied:
“You did not understand… my reaction.
I simple don’t want to work with people anymore.
I love animals and i prefer to work with them … staying into an environment … with a totally different energy that the one from a corporation.
I had enough of people.
I don’t want to deal with them anymore.”
I was looking at her … and even if i did not agree with such a nonsense … i’ve realized that Sasha prefers to work for less money … but into an universe dominated by beautiful e energies.
She knew that she can get a great job … but she did not wanted to waste her life … staying into a scene what will ruin her vibe all the time.
The so called nonsense … made sense …. but only when i
realized that some of us … have the guts to live life just as they wanted.
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Chasing parallel worlds …. an illusory hobby?!
We all dream of a better life.
And we dream like that for years … living with the hope that those dreams will become real one day.
So …. we dream … we dream …. and dream.
Dreaming … becomes … a hobby … cause we practice it for such a long time … not really understanding why we waste our time in such … a nonsense.
Analyzing and defining so many people from the scene of my life … i’ve realized and accepted into the end that it’s all a reflection of my own self.
that i look a lot like those people … and we have the same hobby.
dreaming.
….dreaming of parallel realities … chasing for them … not
realizing that the motivation …. and the hope itself is …
illusory.
I’ve started to write this book … “Parallel lives … a way of enjoying our fantasies” … as a decision of allowing myself to taste all my thoughts, ideas … what i defined into a naive way … dreams … my dreams.
And realizing it’s such a large spectrum of realities i am dreaming about … i’ve asked myself … maybe i am not ready
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to enter into any of those parallel worlds … or i am simple … afraid of doing that.
I finally understood my hobby … is useless.
I needed a change … a profound inner change that could redefine my behavior … so that i allow myself to taste any of my fantasies.
This is my 40th book with essays.
I am writing … having kind of a self therapy … trying to heal
my broken soul … but in the same time having the desire of
sending a very powerful message …. that … being dominated
by the nonsense is absolutely normal for the human being. Accept that as … a real fact … but not be afraid of any of our silly ideas … which are always metamorphosed again and again into a new concept of a better reality.
The hobby of having and also exploring parallel realities … is normal.
We should smile in front of it and see it as part of this journey called … life.
… even if it looks … so often … as a nonsense.
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I’ve always dreamed of parallel universes … not into a spiritual way
but more as a representation of my chase for happiness.
I have moments when i just dream about those worlds …. but
also moments when i dare to taste those realities … trying to feel alive.
I end up … many times being disappointed … Again and again … and again.
But … i still hope … of that dreamed world that i believe will make me happy … even if deep inside myself i know … it’s all an illusion.
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About the meaning
of this book...
“Parallel lives … a way of enjoying our fantasies” … might sound as a title of a book that reveals … immoral facts. But i haven’t defined … only that.
I’ve dared to go deeper into a journey of analyzes … as a very simple … ordinary person … that dreams about lots of … fantasies.
Love … fantasies.
spiritual.
sexual.
financial.
But … all was about … an amazing reality that had nothing to do with my present moment.
Cause … yes … maybe the first step is … to allow ourselves to dream … and have any kind of fantasy. … no matter what it is about.
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Having parallel lives could be a hobby ... or a way of living. But into the end it all becomes a way of enjoying part of our fantasies...
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